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365 Project

Dang, sooo many people these days are getting into photography! Everyone spending hundreds of dollars on cameras!!! dang… I wish I could get one… but then again, I would want the old school camera I used in Photo 1 and Photo 2 back in high school with a dark room to accompany it 😛

Many people are doing 365 photo project (a picture a day). I’ve decided to apply that project to something else: QT’s.

A daily journal, going through books in the Bible, to keep my accountable and keep me consistent in my thirst for knowledge through the word. I hope it goes well!!

First Book: 1 Corinthians. :]

I’m excited

-little lu

Meditation

So I just got back from Naked Saturday night, and I’m planning on writing this whole big blog about my AMAZING experience at Naked. But this is not that post. This post is my plan of action AFTER what I learned on Naked.

One of the personal things I learned from Naked is that I really need time to pray and meditate and escape from this world. Find peace in God and truly depend on Him and only Him. So for the next three days, I’m going to fast. It’s going to be hard; I’ve never done it more than a day. But I think that it’s something that I need to do.

“According to your faith
will it be done to you”
Matthew 9:29

According to MY faith, it will be either easy or hard. It’s MY choice. So through my God given authority, and through my faith in Him, I believe that this will be easy and it will break me in a way that I need to be broken.

So please pray for me. I’m going to need a lot of prayer and support.

-little lu

So Faithful

So this past week, I’ve been SUPER stressed out and I’ve been in the weirdest mood in which, I just don’t care. I’ve had a million things to deal with, and I continually chose to not deal with it at all, all leading up to this one moment when I just feel tired, and exhausted, and completely broken down.

It’s funny because I’m really good at faking it. Around people, I can pretend like EVERYTHING’s okay because I just ignore my problems and focus on something else. Around some people, I just let go; I let my feelings show and I show how upset, frustrated, and how defeated I feel.

This past week especially, I’ve been so consumed with soooooo many obligations and it’s just been thing after thing after thing; literally driving me insane. On top of that, I was slowly falling behind on my school work, didn’t have enough sleep, missed home like CRAZY, and missed my parents so much, I called them twice a day, everyday. And this week, I have no rest: picnic day work day after day, school work up the wazoo, and, again, I can’t go home, aka, more home-sickness to come. PLUS, I had a lot of personal issues that I’ve been dealing with, which definitely amplified everything bad to worse to dreadful to pure awful.

Here’s the thing that’s kinda keeping me alive at this point:

“No temptation has seized you except
what is common to man. And God is
faithful; He will not let you be tempted
beyond what you can bear. But when
you are tempted, He will also provide a
way out so that you can stand up under it.”
– 1 Corinthians 10:13

That was our memory verse for dt last week. It amazes me how faithful God is and how He continually shows us how much He loves us. Of course He is there for us and provides us a way out from temptation, but just in general, God is constantly there for us to lean on, for us to depend on Him; We can “be still” (Psalm 46:10) and He will take care of us because He loves us.

Life isn’t supposed to be easy; there will always be temptations, struggles, conflicts, wars within ourselves and with others. However, the important thing to realize is to know that God only challenges us with the things we can handle. No matter how much we feel like giving up, that motivation is there saying “You can do it!”

So this week, it’s going to be hard. It’s going to kick me in the butt. And it’s going to be a fight. But I know God is with me and “I can do anything through Him who gives me strength.” – Philippians 4:13

-little lu

It’s that time of funk again.

HAPPY EASTER!!!!!

the morning started out wonderful; got up and went to church. Somewhere in the middle, I got into the weirdest funk. Like… after service, I was in the weirdest mood and… I don’t even know!!!

When I got back to the dorms, I was seriously SO confused because I was so happy because it’s Easter, and then… suddenly I wasn’t joyful anymore. I was in such a “whatever” mood. I crawled into my bed, did some homework, gave up, and napped. I woke up, still feeling freaking useless and weird, watched remember the titans which made my day a little better, and now… I’m back to homework and back to feeling crappy… What the heck is wrong with me?!?

I hate getting into funks; I feel like it takes me forever to get out of them. THE WEATHER ISN’T HELPING EITHER!!! Makes me freaking sad 😦

… Hopefully I get out of this funk like… tomorrow morning.

-little lu

I Don’t Love You

“I don’t love you. I can’t love you. As a matter of fact, I don’t WANT to love you.”

Dang. Harsh words, right? But keep reading; first impressions can be deceitful puahaha.

So, yesterday night, my musical soul-mate, Mr. Sam Lim, and I weren’t studying… but procrastinating through the use of Youtube. Oh what fun 🙂 Some time between 1 and 2am, he sent me a link to a guitar genius who played a guitar instrumental medley of Michael Jackson’s top hits. After witnessing the amazing-ness of this guy, I replied to Sam saying “Oh myy… I fell in like with him.”

Naturally, Sam made fun of me and how I said “I’m in like,” instead of “I’m in love,” leading to a conversation on how… desensitized the word Love has become.

I tried to write about this… but I can’t say it better than this person:

“I don’t love you
I can’t love you
As a matter of fact,
I don’t want to love you…
I need to love you”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X5VVGwmchH8

All in all, the fact of the matter is, we have used “love” sooo naturally and on a daily basis, that it’s become a word that gets casually thrown around. Me? I Love God, I Love my family, and I Love life. Nothing else can compare. And it is my goal to stop using “love” unless I truly mean it.

back to studying -___-

-little lu

I got rebuked :(

So… yesterday night, in chapel, God FREAKING rebuked me. Like… Not even joking, I felt embarrassed and ashamed and… SUPER sorry to God.

See… I am a freaking prideful creature. I am proud and self-righteous, and I hate to admit when I’m wrong. And God made me realize that these flaws have cause me to be a complete hypocrite; my mind says one thing, but my heart isn’t completely on board…

Last night we sang one of my favorite praise songs (Stir in Me). And this is how the chorus goes:

“Hold me, break me, mold me

and make me more and more like

you. I come to worship you. To

love you, fear you, draw ever

near you as I worship you.

I come to worship you.”

Pastor Jina then began to talk about the lyrics of these songs and made an analogy to being in surgery.

Imagine that we are on the table, and God’s about to operate on us because we wanted him to “break” us and “mold” us to be more like him. Right as he’s about to change something, we say “WAIT! Wait! Not that one… NO! Not that one either.” What can God change when we’re stopping him?? Rhetorical question… but the answer’s NOTHING!!! He can’t change a thing if we’re holding

him back.

We say to Him, break us, mold us to be more like You. But are we REALLY ready to be broken?? Even when it gets hard and we’re struggling, and we feel like giving up, would we still say to Him, break us?

What I realized was that my head and my heart were acting like two separate bodies. My head was saying to God, yes, I want you to be THE center of my life, the one that holds everything else together, even if it gets hard, I want you to be there in every thought I think and every step I make.

BUT I realized that my heart was still holding on to those things that I felt were too deep to give up to God. I was desperately holding on to things that I still wanted to be in control of. I was scared and I was unable to give those things up to Him, restraining me from fully surrendering to him.

And if God wasn’t rebuking me enough yesterday, this mornings QT, I had this passage:

“I appeal to you, brothers, in the

name of our Lord Jesus Christ,

that all of you agree with one another

so that there may be no divisions

among you and that you may be

perfectly united in mind and thought…

Is Christ divided?…”

1 Corinthians 1:10, 15

Sure, you can see this verse as a verse about unifying all people, but God spoke directly to me saying that I need to unify my mind and my heart.

Being broken is not supposed to be easy; the road to being free and completely surrendering everything up to God is freaking hard. But that’s my prayer and that’s my goal: to not only be broken, but to be able to say with my heart and my mind that I want my heart to break for what breaks His heart, and my heart to love what He loves; not just what I pick and choose to hate and love. I want to be able to love with both my heart and mind, fully and wholly. It may take a freaking long time, but it’s something that I want and am willing to work and pray and work some more in hopes that God will answer my prayers and break me beautifully and gently.

-little lu

Beauty of Mathematics. THIS IS SO COOL!!!

Beauty of Mathematics

1 x 8 + 1 = 9
12 x 8 + 2 = 98
123 x 8 + 3 = 987
1234 x 8 + 4 = 9876
12345 x 8 + 5 = 98765
123456 x 8 + 6 = 987654
1234567 x 8 + 7 = 9876543
12345678 x 8 + 8 = 98765432
123456789 x 8 + 9 = 987654321

1 x 9 + 2 = 11
12 x 9 + 3 = 111
123 x 9 + 4 = 1111
1234 x 9 + 5 = 11111
12345 x 9 + 6 = 111111
123456 x 9 + 7 = 1111111
1234567 x 9 + 8 = 11111111
12345678 x 9 + 9 = 111111111
123456789 x 9 +10= 1111111111

9 x 9 + 7 = 88
98 x 9 + 6 = 888
987 x 9 + 5 = 8888
9876 x 9 + 4 = 88888
98765 x 9 + 3 = 888888
987654 x 9 + 2 = 8888888
9876543 x 9 + 1 = 88888888
98765432 x 9 + 0 = 888888888

Brilliant, isn’t it?
And look at this symmetry:

1 x 1 = 1
11 x 11 = 121
111 x 111 = 12321
1111 x 1111 = 1234321
11111 x 11111 = 123454321
111111 x 111111 = 12345654321
1111111 x 1111111 = 1234567654321
11111111 x 11111111 = 123456787654321
111111111 x 111111111 = 12345678987654321

Now, take a look at this…

From a strictly mathematical viewpoint:

What Equals 100%?

What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?

Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?

We have all been in situations where someone wants you to GIVE OVER 100%.

How about ACHIEVING 101%?

What equals 100% in life?

Here’s a little mathematical formula that might help
answer these questions:

If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

If: 
H-A-R-D-W-O- R- K
8+1+18+4+23+ 15+18+11 = 98%

And: 
K-N-O-W-L-E- D-G-E
11+14+15+23+ 12+5+4+7+ 5 = 96%

But: 
A-T-T-I-T-U- D-E
1+20+20+9+20+ 21+4+5 = 100%

THEN, look how far the love of God will take you:

L-O-V-E-O-F- G-O-D
12+15+22+5+15+ 6+7+15+4 = 101%

Therefore, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that:
While Hard Work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, It’s the Love of God that will put you over the top!
It’s up to you if you share this with your friends & loved ones just
the way I did..
Have a nice day & God bless!!

My friend Jo sent me this and it’s SO FREAKING cool!!!! truly, love of GOD lets us give 101% to everything!!! amazing 🙂

-little lu

Chapel 03.04.2010

First time I felt “light” and free in a really long time.

Cried. Tears. Relief.  Burden-free.

God is truly amazing.

Chapel 03.04.2010

-little lu

Darwin’s Nightmare = My nightmare… tons of FISH… gross

So.. I’m in anthropology 2 right now…. Like, I’m sitting in the class right now, and I’m watching a movie titled “Darwin’s Nightmare.”… Darwin’s nightmare??? More like MY NIGHTMARE!!! Seriously, the whole movie is about FISH. How cane someone make an entire movie just on FISH??? It’s not even the cool discovery channel type of movie either. At least in those movies, they have pretty colorful fish, swimming all happy all up in the coral, so pretty and cool looking. But no, in THIS movie, the fish are gigantic, huge, all grey, ugly, with bulging eyeballs. Can you say GROSS?!?!? I mean, seriously… the fisherman were straight up grabbing these fish BY THEIR EYEBALLS and skinning then and filleting them… gross… makes me queasyyyyyy.

So instead of putting all of my focus on watching this disgusting movie, I am, instead, going to put all my focus on not puking… by blogging hahaha.

Have not i commanded you?

Be strong and courageous.

Do not be terrified; do not be

discouraged, for the Lord

your God will be with you

wherever you go.

Joshua 1:9

DANG. I just looked up “verse of the day” (verseoftheday.com) and this is the verse it gave me. I DIDN’T EVEN PICK THIS ONE PURPOSE!!!! It is God’s work haha. Funny how God works; first, I’m disgusted by this stupid film on FISH, then, I’m super bored because there’s nothing else to do, then I decide to blog and this is the verse I get. Leads me to this verse:

“Come, follow me,” Jesus
said, “and I will make you
fishers of men.”
Matthew 4:19

Fishers of men… fish in the movie… gahh… I’m tired haha. A message that God has been drilling into my head is that, no matter what happens, he’s always there for me; don’t be afraid or discouraged, but be strong. Be my child, believe in me, have faith, FOLLOW Jesus, because there’s nothing holding me back, and there is nothing the Lord cannot do.

Now… back to watching that stupid film…

-little lu